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Adoption Contemplating The ProcessAdoption Contemplating The Processby Matt GarimentisWe have attempted to have a child for the past 3 years of marriage. We actually got pregnant nine months ago, but my wife miscarried. If there is any consolation, were happy we know that were not infertile. Now we are just waiting it out and praying. Along the way, weve considered adoption. As weve considered adopting a child, Ive worried about three main concerns: money, love, and process. In the following paragraphs Ill go into these concerns in greater detail. Please keep in mind that these are only preliminary thoughts on adoption as a possible parent. I havent yet conducted enough research. Our finances are tight. We are still trying to get ourselves out of much debt due to some bad spending problems during the start of our marriage. Consequently, I had been desiring to wait to have children, but my wife reminded me that having a child while tight is better than not having a child but having more cash. Children beat out money. Were willing to make the sacrifice. Although this state of mind is just fine when having your own children, Ill bet that an adoption agency has more stringent financial requirements for those they accept. Not to mention the adopting fees. As of now, I dont think we can afford adoption. When the subject of adoption originally was mentioned in our marriage, I didnt seriously consider it. My heart has always been firm on having my own children from my own seed. Ive always fancied that part of the love Id experience for my child would be the knowledge that he came from me. (You got me, Im hoping for a son.) As Ive contemplated it more, however, I really believe I will love an adopted child just the same. Love is much more an expression of the heart than a magical feeling of oneness. Plus the thought that I "saved" this child would provide some great feelings throughout parenthood. Possibly Id even think of myself as this childs hero! The final issue Ive dealt with when contemplating adoption is a fear of the drawn out process. I regularly hear horror stories of the time and cost required to adopt a child. A friend even experienced a situation where there was a risk the birth mother had the option to take the child back six or so months later. Id want to be sure of the outcome before starting the process. Then I read stories of adoptive parents traveling abroad to pick up a child with only the expense being a plane ticket. Is it really that easy? It boils down to this: I havent researched adoption adequately to know the truth about the money, love, and process concerns. I do know that I will love whatever child with whom God blesses us. This article is just the first step in my desire to make sense of these issues. I have set up a website at which I hope to receive the written experiences of others weighing adoption or adoptive parents. I invite you to post an article as well. You dont have to be an expert -- Im sure not! There isnt even a need to be a great writer. Your knowledge and experience on the topic is highly valued. Article Source: http://www.afroarticles.com/article-dashboard |