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Can I Love Again




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Can I Love Again

by Lanie Pambid

I was living in a dream
Full of hatred and pain
Someone I thought I loved
Was not really loving me
For Who I am
For Who I have become

Half a decade I have wasted
For that someone who never knew
My worth as a human being
As someone who loved him deeply
For who he is
For what he became
One common day he left me
And told me we could never be
As I expected the truth that lies
Beneath the reality of what could have been
For who would love me
For exactly who I am

More so I realized countless things
From the years that have passed
My heart was truly weeping
My soul undeniably hurting
For making myself believe
That he would offer his love for me
Realization came pouring in
That the person I loved not only tainted me
But hauled me down so low
To the depths of despair
For who am I to see
Blinded by the word love?

My total being was scorched
By the soreness of regret
Bit by bit I lamented
My soul was tormented
For the disgust that I felt
For the shadow that overpowered me.

As I went on with my new life
I take in for questioning
Stupid things I have done
Where have I gone wrong?
For the love of you I thought
For the love of me I sought
Hence, I did not expect
Someone came along so swiftly
A good friend I found in him
That I promised to keep
For the emotions he has shown me
For everything that he has taught me

I began to become conscious
Of the love my good friend made known
Although my wits said no
My heart wanted to struggle
For I cannot love anymore, I say
For feeling that my heart was worn-out

In the shortest of time I have seen
The sincerity of my good friend
He made me feel blissful
Delighted with my presence
For the time being I forgot pain
For the moment I relieved my hearts twinge
I could not deem myself falling
So quickly after all the pain
My heart was longing for him
My good friend, I have certainly fallen
For the reason that he is everything
I have wished for my special someone to be

I was bound to let go
Of the word love long ago
But I knew I will never know
If I keep on preventing my heart to see
For I cannot conceal the glow from my eyes
Whenever you are near my lips just smile

The magical moment came and you asked me
If ever I could love again
And you said could it be me?
Out of the blue my mouth blurted out
For my heart would continue loving
For as long as I breathe

Every pain and suffering
That I have experienced
Have fallen into pieces
I was hurt and tormented to be prepared
For I will love again
For I will love him

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